To Stay Awake
by soundofthebluerain
Summary: Honey Lemon copes with Tadashi's death. Drabble series. Tadahoney.
1. To Stay Awake

**_She closes her eyes and sees his laugh. She opens her eyes and sees only a world without him. Why then, would she ever choose to be awake?_**

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><p>Honey Lemon's eyes open to soft sunlight and the sound of moving cars outside her window. Blinking, she wills herself not to fall back to sleep. She groans and rolls to her side. It's 7:30. Slowly, she sits up and swings her legs out of bed. Her feet touch the cold floor. Taking a deep breath, she stands and gets dressed. Knowing she had to be at the café soon, she hurried into the kitchen to make coffee but pauses when she sees the photograph resting on the counter.<p>

"_Why do you wear that hat all the time?" Honey Lemon asked._

_Tadashi adjusted his baseball cap."I don't know, why do you wear those pink glasses all the time?" he replied with a smirk._

_They walked away from the school in the late afternoon, done working in their labs for the day. It was hot, and Honey Lemon was admittedly a bit jealous of his minimal shade._

"_I wear them because I need to see! They're a necessity! But I've almost never seen you without that hat," she noted, trying to think of a time when he wasn't wearing it._

_Tadashi looked at her for a moment and laughed, but didn't give her an answer. Instead, he stopped suddenly and took off his hat. Honey Lemon was momentarily baffled when he put it on her head._

"_There, looks good," he said._

_Brushing off her puzzlement, Honey Lemon smiled and took off her glasses._

"_Here," she said as she gently put her glasses on his face._

_Not wanting to miss the opportunity, she quickly pulled out her phone and snapped a picture of the two of them. They smiled into the camera, a happy moment frozen in time._

Honey Lemon smiled softly at the picture, but it quickly turned into a frown.

'He's not here anymore,' she thought.

She glanced at the photo next to the one of her and Tadashi.

"_Everybody say, Hiro!" Honey Lemon exclaimed, wanting to capture the moment._

"_Hiro!" everyone said._

_Hiro was up next, and everyone wished him luck. He was clearly nervous, but she knew he would be fine. She looked at Tadashi and saw how proud he was of Hiro._

She wished so much that she could go back to that moment, where everyone was happy. Honey Lemon knew that Tadashi's death took a toll on all of them, and they haven't had many times like that since the accident. She wanted nothing more than to bring those smiles back. So she always gave one of her own, even though she was dying on the inside. She wanted him back, so badly.

Honey Lemon sighed and went back to making her coffee. Later, when she was about to leave, she looked at the pictures one more time. Tadashi and the others smiled at her.

"For them," she says to herself. "I'll stay awake for them."

She leaves her tiny apartment with a smile on her face. The picture frames shake with the closing of the door.


	2. To Smile

A/N: Forgot to say before, but I don't own Big Hero 6! Just my pathetic emotions.

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><p>His body lay limp on the pavement with his head in her lap. Burns covered his arms and face. His shirt had burned away partially on his torso, revealing a scorched and bloody chest. But despite it all, he was still so handsome, still her Tadashi.<p>

"Tell Hiro I'm proud of him," he said.

"I will, I promise," Honey Lemon said softly, running her fingers through his hair. His baseball cap was nowhere to be found. It was silent for a moment, both of them just looking at the other. Hearing a crash, Honey Lemon looked to see the school engulfed in flames. The heat was so intense that she could feel her face burning. Tadashi coughed, and she looked back down at him, worried. The smoke was heavy, and she was starting to feel its effects, too.

"Honey?" Tadashi asked suddenly.

"Yes?" she replied, hanging on his every word.

"You're really smart, you know," he said, "and funny. God, you're so funny Honey Lemon." He shook his head slightly and turned his gaze back to her.

She looked down at him in confusion.

"Did you know that you are the kindest person I've ever met? You're so caring, and passionate." He paused for a moment, trying to gather his words. "I love watching you work, watching your gears turn. And I love your pink glasses and how you clean them every once in a while, and I love your eyes when they light up, and, and…" he paused, seeming to come to a conclusion. "I love when you smile at me. You're so beautiful when you smile, Honey."

"Tadashi," she said, "you don't have to-"

"I love you, Honey Lemon."

She let out a sob and held his face in her hands. "I love you too, Tadashi, so, so much." She smiled down at him, so happy to finally hear those words from him and to tell him in return.

He smiled back at her, saying, "Good, that would have been really embarrassing."

She didn't know whether to cry or to laugh, he was so unbelievable. How could he be joking right now? She stroked his face, wiping away some of the soot. She loved this idiot, she really did.

"Honey?" he said.

"Yes?" she leaned in closer to hear him.

"Smile for them," Tadashi said. They both knew what was going to happen, but neither was willing to say it. She wasn't ready for him to go, and neither was he. There was still so much more for them, so much left unfinished. All she wanted to do was cry, but that's not what Tadashi needed right now.

So Honey Lemon smiled instead and said, "We'll get through this together, ok? Like we always do. You just have to stay awake a little longer." Tadashi gave her a soft smile back.

An ambulance siren sounded in the distance. She looked around trying to spot them.

"See?" she exclaimed, "Just a little longer and then we can-"

Tadashi's eyes were closed. Her heart stopped beating.

"Tadashi?" She held his face in her hands searching frantically for any signs of life. "Tadashi!"

But Tadashi was gone.


	3. To Hug

**A/N: I do not own Big Hero 6. **

**Tried making it a little longer, but I need some practice with it. Hopefully they'll be much longer in the future. :)**

_**To Hug**_

"This is the 47th test of my robotics project." Tadashi sighed and rubbed his eyes, exhausted. He'd been working on Baymax all night, and at this point, things were looking pretty hopeless.

"Ok, buddy, let's do this." He pushed the button and held his breath.

"Hello, I am Bay-bay-bama-b-b-b-b-b" sparks flew and the robot shut down…with all of the lights. "No! No no no!" Tadashi groaned, looking for his flashlight, again.

He didn't get it. What was he doing wrong? He had done dozens of tests, and nothing seemed to be working. He had spent hours upon hours working on this and didn't seem to make any progress. Why wouldn't he work? Tadashi walked over to his work bench and rummaged around until he found the flashlight and stomped over to the light switch. He could at least fix the lights, right?

Wrong. After twenty minutes, he gave up and threw the flashlight at his workbench in frustration, accidentally knocking his entire toolkit onto the floor with a crash. Tadashi sighed and began slowly putting the tools back into the box.

Then a pound of footsteps came closer to his lab. A small thud and an audible 'ouch' could be heard right outside his door. Suddenly, the door swung open and Honey Lemon burst inside, flashlight in hand. "Tadashi?" she asked, a little breathless from running.

"Honey Lemon?" Tadashi asked, puzzled. It must have been close to three in the morning. What was she doing here?

With the moonlight coming from the window, Honey Lemon could be seen rubbing her foot, which she must have hurt running to his lab. Still panting, she said, "Tadashi, are you ok? I heard a crash!"

"Uh, yeah, yeah I'm fine. It was just my toolkit," Tadashi replied.

"Oh," she said in understanding, sighing in relief, she set her flashlight down on the table.

"That's good; I was just worried you might have hurt yourself in the dark. I've been working on the lights in the other room, but I can't seem to fix them," she said with a grumble. "Any luck here?" she asked, seeing the open light switch.

"No, I've been trying for the past half hour," said Tadashi. He finished putting the tools back and stood up, lifting the box onto the table. He walked over to her, and said, "It's actually my fault. I was testing Baymax and I guess he short fused or something. I'm sorry to put you in the dark, Honey." He rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. He sighed again.

"Oh don't worry about it!" Honey Lemon said cheerfully. She noted how worn out Tadashi looked. He had bags under his eyes and his hair was disheveled. _'He looks so tired,' _she thought.

"Hey," she said, "Are you ok?"

Tadashi looked at her worried expression and knew that he could tell her anything.

"Honestly, Honey? No. No matter what I seem to do, Baymax won't work. I've tried everything." He shrugged and looked at the floor. Honey Lemon had never seen him look so defeated.

She didn't even think when she hugged him. Surprised at first, Tadashi gave her a half-hearted hug in return, so she just squeezed him tighter until he gave in and hugged her back for real. Tadashi didn't know how much he had needed this. She was so warm, so comforting, and Tadashi felt so much better.

They stood there for a few minutes, except now it was Tadashi who held onto her, needing her close. She didn't mind in the slightest. At one point, Tadashi realized that he was taller than her. Honey Lemon wasn't wearing her usual heels. In fact, she wasn't wearing her usual anything. Her hair was pulled into a loose ponytail and her feet were decorated with pink bunny slippers. She was in her pajamas. He laughed a little, and pulled away.

"What's so funny?" she asked.

"Nothing," Tadashi said. "You just made me feel so much better."

Honey Lemon smiled at that and reached up to cup his face in both hands. "Baymax **will **work, Tadashi. I know he will. You are the smartest person I've ever met, and if anyone can fix him, you can." She pulled her hands away just as the lights came back on. They both blinked, adjusting to the brightness.

"See?" she said, "Anything can be fixed!"

Her smile was infectious and he couldn't hold one back himself.

"Much better," said Honey Lemon. She gave him another fleeting but firm hug. "Don't give up Tadashi," she said into his shirt. Then she was suddenly at the door. "Ok?"

"Yeah, ok," Tadashi said, a small smile still resting on his face.

Honey Lemon nodded then walked out the door.

Tadashi looked at Baymax again, with a determined look in his eye. "I will get you to work, buddy, but first, I need some sleep," he said, yawning. He left his lab then, intent on finding Honey Lemon again to take her home for some much needed sleep. He had noticed the bags under her eyes too. He found her already asleep, head on her lab table. One of her pink bunny slippers had fallen off her foot and lay on the floor. Tadashi shook his head. She was ridiculous sometimes.

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><p><strong>Leave a review? :)<strong>


	4. To Empty

_**A/N: I do not own Big Hero 6.**_

_**I was sad today.**_

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><p><strong>To Empty<strong>

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><p>For a while, it was full. Full of memories, full of junk, full of precious time that she thought would be limitless. Honey Lemon stood in the middle of Tadashi's lab, looking around the room that once possessed the heart and soul of the one she held most dear.<p>

It was cluttered, but homey. He never kept anything in the same place, always moving things around in a concentrated daze. Tools and parts littered the tables, the floors, everywhere. She didn't know how he managed to keep track of anything.

There were pictures too, of course. Pictures of her and Tadashi as well as the others were scattered all over the room. She saw Tadashi's favorite picture of him and Hiro as children, playing on the floor. He told her once that it was his favorite picture, and when she asked why, he said it was because it was the first time he smiled after his parents died. She didn't pry, but she'd always been glad he told her.

Looking to her right, Honey Lemon saw the blanket and pillow he took out whenever he pulled an all-nighter sprawled across the couch. Honey Lemon smiled at the memory of when she found him asleep on that stupid couch one time. She could still picture him on his stomach, a little drool falling out the corner of his open mouth. All in all, he looked rather uncomfortable, so she went to nudge him awake and promptly told him to go home for some proper rest. Grumbling and weary eyed, he left, but he made sure to return the favor whenever she stayed too late in her own lab. Honey Lemon wondered if he ever knew how much she loved when he worried over her.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted something pink, and her eyes immediately welled up with tears. It was crazy for her to get so choked up over the pink screwdriver lying next to his computer, but that was the screwdriver she gave to him on his birthday last year. She had tried really hard to find him the perfect gift, but she couldn't think of one in time and ended up giving him the first thing she could reach: a stupid pink screwdriver. It was the only one he used after that. Slowly, Honey Lemon walked over to his computer desk and picked up the screwdriver. It was so small, but it carried the weight of the world. She pocketed it, deciding to take it with her.

Turning to leave, her eyes fell on a small red case sitting against the wall. Baymax. Oh, Baymax. He perhaps held the most important memories of all. Baymax represented Tadashi's hopes and dreams. He represented his ideals and what he thought the world could be. One of the happiest days of her life was because of Baymax; it was the day he finally worked. It was the day Tadashi kissed her for the first time.

Holding a hand to her mouth, Honey Lemon let out a sob, tears now running freely down her face. She crumpled to the floor, crying her heart out. They found her there many hours later, asleep, clutching a pink screwdriver.

A week later, Honey Lemon helped empty out Tadashi's lab. One by one, all the photos, wires, parts, and tools were packed up and put into the car. By the time it was all done, she was sweating profusely with the effort. Everyone helped that day, and they were all invited back to the café for some lemonade after it was done.

"Go ahead, guys, I'll catch up," Honey Lemon said with a smile.

"You sure?" asked Gogo. She had a skeptical and slightly worried expression on her face as she looked at her best friend. Gogo could read her like a book; Honey Lemon's smiles never fooled her.

"Yeah, of course! I just need to grab something from my lab. I'll meet you guys there ok?"

She must have been convincing enough, because Gogo and the rest of the gang nodded and piled into the car. She waved cheerfully as they sped off, then took a deep breath and sighed. She slowly made her way through the halls and into the science wing. But when she made it to her lab, she just kept walking until she reached Tadashi's lab. Except, she thought bitterly, it wasn't Tadashi's. Not anymore. Pushing open the door, she peaked inside, and hated what she saw.

Everything was gone. The room looked so much bigger now that all the clutter was gone. It was just, empty. Honey Lemon immediately regretted helping to clear it out. She missed the clutter, she missed the couch, she missed the pictures, and she missed Tadashi most of all. Taking a small step forward, she blinked in the sudden stream of sunlight coming from the circular window across from her.

"_Tadashi?" Honey Lemon asked in a small voice, peaking into the room, not wanting to disturb him in case he was sleeping._

"_Oh, hey, Honey Lemon. Come in!" he said. Tadashi wasn't working on Baymax for once. Instead, he was sitting on the window sill, looking up at the night sky. Honey Lemon thought briefly that moonlight really suited him._

"_Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. If you want to be left alone, I'll just-"_

"_Honey, come here, I want you to see something," Tadashi interrupted, and she tentatively walked over to the window. He looked at her and smiled softly. _

"_Look," he said, pointing up to the sky. The stars were absolutely stunning that night, and Honey Lemon gasped in awe._

"_Wow, I didn't know that your lab had such a great view! That's incredible!" she exclaimed. She didn't notice when Tadashi turned his gaze to her. She was surprised when she felt a hand gently turn her head towards Tadashi and draw her in for a kiss._

Honey Lemon was pulled from her reverie by the sound of birds chirping outside the window. It was a beautiful day outside. She drew herself up straight and wiped a stray tear away. She turned to walk out of Tadashi's lab, ready to join her friends. Giving the room a last look, she took in the sunlit open space. Maybe it wasn't so empty, after all.

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><p><em><strong>Leave a review? I'd love to hear from you guys! How am I doing?<strong>_


	5. To Brush

**A/N: I do not own Big Hero 6.**

**I didn't really know how to end this, but I hope its ok.**

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><p><em><strong>To Brush<strong>_

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><p>The bell jingled, indicating another visitor to the Lucky Cat Café. Honey Lemon strode in with a confident smile on her face. Looking around, the café was busy, much more than usual. The line she was standing in stretched almost to the door. The café roared with the hustle and bustle of early morning breakfast. Honey Lemon spotted Aunt Cass behind the counter, struggling to keep up with the large amount of demanding customers.<p>

Tadashi came out of the back, carrying a large tray of pastries. He quickly replaced the empty tray with the new one before looking up and noticing her at the very back of the line. He smiled at her and waved for her to come closer. The people in line gave her dirty looks as she guiltily walked to the front.

"I'm sorry Honey Lemon, but we're swamped right now and Aunt Cass needs my help. You're welcome to wait if you want though," he said apologetically.

She smiled in understanding and nodded. They had both planned on studying for finals together today, but it looked like that would have to wait.

"It's totally fine Tadashi, I understand."

He smiled at her again and she tried her best not to stare, but it was hard when he looked at her like that.

"Tadashi?" Aunt Cass called from her place at the register. "Can you grab the other croissants, please? I think they're ready."

"Sure thing," he called back, giving Honey Lemon another silent 'I'm sorry'.

Then she surprised him suddenly by ducking under the counter. Dumping her backpack in a corner, she grabbed an apron from the hook on the back wall and swiftly tied it. She pulled her hair into a messy bun and turned to look at him. "Well if I'm here, I'm here to help," she said simply.

Tadashi grinned then, and said, "You can help Aunt Cass out here with the customers while I take care of the back."

"Got it!" she replied, and immediately went to the aid of the busy woman.

With the three of them together, the line moved much faster, and eventually the roar died down as the rush ended. By the time the final customer left, Honey Lemon was exhausted. She had a new appreciation for the work Aunt Cass did every morning. How did she manage? She slumped against the counter, glad for the break. Her hastily made bun was falling out, and Honey Lemon knew that she must look quite the sight.

"Phew! That was crazy!" Aunt Cass exclaimed, a little tired herself. "Thanks for the help, Honey, we really needed it. Anna couldn't make it today because her kid was sick, so Tadashi offered to help. Sorry to interrupt your little study date."

Honey Lemon looked up sharply, her cheeks turning a deep shade of red. "A-a what? Study date?" She scrambled her words. "No, no, it's just that we have finals coming up so I thought we should study together, so it was really just a matter of convenience! Not a date. I mean, why would you think it's a date? It's not a date, definitely not a date I swear…" Aunt Cass gave her a knowing look, and Honey Lemon gave a defeated sigh, knowing that she had lost. Aunt Cass gave her a sympathetic look.

"You know," she said, "I've seen the way he looks at you. He's got it bad." She smiled at Honey Lemon and walked past her saying, "Could you watch the café for a few minutes? I need to check on Hiro upstairs. If he's still sleeping, so help me…" The rest of her words were muffled as she disappeared up the stairs.

Honey Lemon stood there in silence. She couldn't get Aunt Cass's words out of her head. 'I've seen the way he looks at you'. How? How did he look at her? Lost in her thoughts, she was startled when Tadashi opened the door to the back again, looking a little frazzled. He had flour on his face and his hands, and his hair was surely a mess underneath his backwards baseball cap. Honey Lemon couldn't help laughing a little.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

Composing herself, she said, "Nothing, it's just that you have flour all over you."

"Huh," he looked down at himself to find that he was indeed covered in the dusty white substance.

"I should probably go clean up," he said, and Honey Lemon nodded saying, "That's probably best." She turned back to counter, looking for something to clean with. Only when she went to turn around again, her face met some kind of powder. Flour, to be exact. Spluttering, she choked out, "T-Tadashi, what was that for?"

Wiping her eyes, she opened them to see Tadashi hunched over and laughing.

"Ha, ha, very funny," she said, not amused.

"Hey, it doesn't look that bad!" Tadashi insisted, still laughing.

She couldn't help but smile then, and soon they were both laughing. Eventually, they calmed down enough that Tadashi could say, "Thanks for helping today."

"Of course! Although, we'll need to make up our study date later, we have finals coming up after all…"

Tadashi stared at her in stunned silence. She was puzzled at his expression for a moment until she realized what she had said.

"Uh-um, I mean, our study _session," _she amended hastily. "You know, I was thinking maybe we could invite Go Go and the others, so it was more like a group thing! Y-yeah, that could be fun," she babbled, again. Why couldn't she keep her head on straight around him? And why was he still staring at her? She dropped her gaze to the floor in embarrassment; this was surely the end of her.

Then she felt a hand on her cheek, and she looked up into deep brown eyes. Oh yeah, she was done for. Tadashi brushed some of the flour off her face gently, and neither of them breathed for a moment.

"Ok! Thanks for watching the café for me, Honey! I was right, Hiro was still asleep, but don't worry, I set him straight…"

Tadashi and Honey Lemon stood at opposite ends of the counter, having leapt apart at the sound of pounding footsteps on the stairs. Awkward silence ensued.

"So, I guess we'll just reschedule then?" Honey Lemon asked suddenly.

"Ahem, uh, yeah. Yeah, that sounds great," Tadashi stuttered, side stepping so that she could walk around him to take off her apron. She fumbled while picking up her backpack, her cheeks still dusted with pink and some flour. She ducked under the counter again and practically sprinted out the door. The bell jingled, announcing her exit. Tadashi's hand was still lifted in a wave that she didn't see as he gazed after her.

Aunt Cass watched him for a moment before scoffing. "You've got it bad for her."

"What?"

"Lucky for you, she's got it bad for you too."

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><p><strong>Eh, not sure how I feel about this one. I promised myself I wouldn't fall into the baking cliche, but now look at me. I'm a sucker for sappy stuff like that. Anyway, please leave a review! I love hearing from you guys and I'm so grateful for all of the support I've been given. :)<strong>


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